Scripture: Psalm 90:7-8,12 (The Message)
[O God,] Your anger is far and away too much for us;
we're at the end of our rope.
You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed
since we were children is entered in your books.
Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!
We've all been there - tossing and turning, wide awake, thinking of some stupid mistake we have made. Maybe we were in a hurry and backed into another car in the parking lot. Maybe we made a flip remark and then caught a hurt response in someone's eyes. Whatever it was, it's not going to leave us alone.
What can we do to undo the mistake? Cars can be repaired, but it's more difficult to repair a hurt relationship. Then, there's our own self-image; put another crack in that. How many sins and mistakes can we bear without falling apart? Only God knows.
Yes, God does know, the psalmist tells us; God knows every tiny slip and every gigantic sin, for you, for me, from the beginning of our lives, for however long we have on this earth. The psalmist fears God's anger. But I always picture God shaking her head with disappointment, saying "Not again! How many times do I have to tell you?"
I want to crawl up into God's lap and share my own tears of frustration and embarrassment. And then I want God, as a loving parent, to help me figure out what to do about it. Sometimes God helps me see what I can do. But sometimes God has to say, "There's not much you can do, but leave it with me. I'll see what I can do to make something good out of it."
And I cry out with the psalmist, "I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. Please help me learn."
O God, please don't be angry with me. I know I'm not perfect, not even very significant in your grand scheme of creation. But with your help, I can learn to live wisely and well in whatever I do.